Because I am not Silent no more. I am a voice to 43% of women of reproductive age. I am a voice to the millions of babies who have died...

I am a post abortive-pro-life woman who has fallen short of this devastating holocaust called abortion--also called choice. But, it actually wasn't a choice for me. I was pushed into having an abortion by good friends and family at the young age of 15 years.

Because we were not previously decided where we stood on the issue of abortion, we were more susceptible when crisis hit. It was not something we thought about beforehand. The teeter-totter of abortion then tilted toward my family strongly when we allowed for open dialogue from our friends. Because we were Catholic growing up and abortion was unheard of, when I fell into a crisis pregnancy my mother fell victim to the fear-mongering of her pro-choice friends, and even though I knew intuitively that abortion was wrong and I wanted to keep my baby –and had even bonded with my baby as soon as I found out I was pregnant-- as an impressionable 15 year old, my mother's influence on me won out –even though she wept along with me throughout the procedure.

I remember buying the coolest multi-colour pair of shoes for my baby.

I remember swinging on a swing singing the Beatles' "Here comes the son" to my baby. Because I thought when the month of June hit my baby would be here and I was resolved to protect my baby.

"Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
and I say it's all right

Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun,
here comes the sun and I say it's all right

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun and I say it's all right

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...

Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun, and I say it's all right It's all right"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

See, it wasn't really my "choice" It never is when you feel trapped and your support system that you look to for guidance unduly derides the alternatives.

When Family and friends came over for dinner they inundated me and my mother with frightening horror stories and frightening "examples" of what would happen to me if I went through with the pregnancy. For example, they set up visits with single mothers who claimed they had to resort to prostitution and stripping to feed their babies. They also had abortions themselves and made it seem so frightening to keep the baby...and also so easy to abort it. I really thought I would become one of them. I was so scared that I believed I had to resort to this or else this is what the future would hold for my baby and I.

The baby's paternal grandmother called me each morning to badger me to get an abortion, claiming the baby would be "retarded." My family now joined them in instilling fear into me because I still wanted so desperately to keep my baby. I found myself right back in the same position that was so familiar, the same pressure, threats, and jeers.

After the abortion you feel the false sense of relief—the decision is settled. The shock, post traumatic stress, and defence mechanisms kick in and you justify your actions in every way possible, because the only other alternative is to admit what you've done -- and I couldn't bear to face it. Deep in my heart I ached and screamed because I knew the truth even though I was so young. I knew that there was life that should have been here and was not.

I numbed myself from the grief and shame by using marijuana –which is a common coping strategy in post-abortive women -- I lost tons of weight and about 6 months after the abortion I fell into an extremely deep depression. I readily moved over to the pro-choice side because it validated my choice—and I felt safe there. It was all just an illusion. The pro-life side felt threatening because of the perceived condemnation –in my own eyes I thought everybody could see me as scarlet. I was unclean. I was a murderer. Leaping over the fence would mean I would have to acknowledge it.

I began to suffer with physical symptoms because, I believe, I was constantly wrestling with my conscience and God. I suffered with sleep disturbance and nightmares, and a fear of death because I knew I was going to hell if I died. I was plagued with vicious panic attacks that brought me to the emergency room on several occasions. During these attacks I kept calling out to God, pleading for forgiveness, but I didn't know how to be saved. This is the time I called Birthright (a local crisis pregnancy center) in desperation, and there I met a few other post-abortive women who had already leaped over to the pro-life side. They took me through a Bible study. From there I made two trips to a Rachel's Vineyard (a post-abortive healing retreat), and there I found Jesus' forgiveness, and the safety to dignify the life of my child for the first time, by having a memorial service for my baby.

Healing was nowhere near instant. I suffered anxiety attacks for years. They were mild at first, but over time I was literally incapacitated by them. Even though I had a wonderful husband, five beautiful children, and was a Christian, I could not shake the attacks. I deeply loved the Lord, but I didn’t understand what was happening. Finally, I realized that God was sifting through the layers of my pain. He held me securely as He went into the crevices and the deep places where I did not even know there was pain to bring each hurt ever so tenderly to the surface. I realize now abortion cuts to the depths of a woman’s heart.

I'm still in a process of healing almost 17 yrs later, having to learn how to transfer my shame, guilt, stigma, and condemnation over to the cross of Jesus Christ. It's too much for me to bear, but thankfully Jesus bore it for me so that I could be free.

Abortion didn't just touch me. It has touched an estimated 43% of women worldwide. By the time women reach 45 years of age they will have been coerced or deceived into having undergone one or more abortion(s). Think about the enormity of that percentage--it's almost half of women at reproductive age.

According to Abortion 101, the Evangelical Christian community has not escaped the abortion choice either. A George Barna survey states that "one in three women outside the church have had an abortion and at least one in six women sitting in Evangelical Christian churches have had abortions. Over 200,000 or 18% of American Christians each year choose abortion as the answer to an unplanned pregnancy. In fact, many Christian parents, including members of the clergy, take their children for abortions to avoid the shame and disgrace that an unplanned pregnancy might bring their family. "

I haven't even quoted worldwide statistics--just American stats. The number is mind-blowing approx... 100 million worldwide.

We live in a culture and climate of death, where school counselors, doctors, friends, and family have been deceived by the $400- million- a- year abortion industry, and where facts and truth have been systematically concealed --and this deception has spilled over into our communities and homes and has permeated our culture.

Abortion has caused a lot of grief to believers and unbelievers alike. I know my voice right now is speaking to other post-abortive mothers, fathers, grandmothers, and grandfathers, as well as siblings who've been affected. I hope as a congregation that we could start a support group for those who are seeking healing and forgiveness after falling into the abortion holocaust. When we realize how abortion is hurting and exploiting our women-- not to mention their children-- abortion will become as unthinkable as slavery.

I now have such a respect for life that I never had before. So let's stand up, congregation, and carry the healing balm Jesus offers to these wounded people. I am still dealing with fringes of my experience, but this time, I've got Jesus. I am free today, because Jesus changes everything. So I sing with confidence, "here comes the sun." The son is shining upon me, as I submerge myself with Christ. My desire is to keep my eyes on Jesus Christ, and interweave myself in the storyline between the Father and the Son. "Lord... keep me fixed on your son, and I trust you will unfold the plot-line of this story line beautifully in my life, and the other lives I come into contact with." Because, when I drape my body with Christ, -- I win Him, and then cleave to Him with all my might. By enslaving myself on putting on Christ...it truly becomes my freedom after all. Now that's wonderful sweet grace. I call them grace raindrops showering upon His daugter.

Thank you

Nancy :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYaTywSDmls ...it takes a minute to watch...

Being Still....

Be still, and know that I am God.Psalm 46:10

We need to be reminded that we are not God.

This seems pretty basic. You wouldn't think it would be hard to remember. But we get so caught up in proving ourselves by performing, achieving and rescuing that we forget that we are humans with real limits. We fill our time so full of frenzied activity that there is no 'stillness'. And when there is no stillness, it is hard to remember who is God, and who is not. Fortunately, God does not forget who is God- and who is not. God invites us to quiet ourselves, to slow ourselves down. God invites us to be still long enough to regain perspective. "Be still", God says, "and know that I am God." In the stillness we can see again that there is a difference between our frenzy and God's kingdom. It is God's work to provide and protect and rescue. It is not our work. We can do our part. But our part needs to be respectful of our human limits. Our part needs to actively acknowledge our dependence on God. God is God, and we are not.

Help me to slow down, Lord. Help me to be quiet. Help me to be still long enough to remember that you are God. Help me to remember who is creature and who is Creator. Let this truth free me, Lord, to accept my limits,

In your name Lord

Amen.

Nancy

Fighting Child Prostitution

Listen to roe now. Redemptive testimony.

wow...just wow.. One of the best I have ever seen about this topic.

Deanna Jones--an authentic gal...

Post abortive, pro life christian mother and author of TO BE A MOTHER. Discusses how women are LIFE GIVER'S by definition and how identity crisis...' in women contributes to abortion. Biblical readings on Genesis and 2 Corinthians. Quotes ...from CAPTIVATING by John and Stasi Eldredge.

An ackhing heart

My heart has a deep sensitivity, and aches for women who have fallen short of abortion. Abortion is legal in Canada and it makes our citizens think it’s o.k. to head for and obtain under the suitable conditions. Countless of people rationalize and assume—“it’s allowed and authorized, so it ought to be o.k.” I strongly believe that the other injured party to terminating a pregnancy --is the mother herself. Why have I grown to be so concerned about this subject matter of abortion? Well, first, because no one likes to speak on the subject of abortion. And for that reason in itself--they steer away from it, at all costs. Say abortion three times out loud (not a pretty word right)? But, there are so many hurting women walking around our streets who are close at hand that have had abortion(s). Why can’t we lend a hand to them and help them grieve that loss? It’s so crucial and essential to her healing and God's refurbishment--plans for her life afterwards. She can be used unspeakably to bring a stop to abortion altogether. I would also like to indicate and stress here that the three chief used men in the Bible are Moses, King David, and the Apostle Paul. Every single one of them fell short of the act murder(s)... and King David, was in fact, called... a man after God's own heart. So if you are going to smear and defame any women who has undergone abortion, then you might not be interested in reading: Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy (written by Moses), most of the Psalms (written by David), Romans, 1 and 2 Corinthians, Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, 1 and 2 Thessalonians, 1 and 2 Timothy, Titus, Philemon (written by Paul), and quite possibly Hebrews too (author unknown). I hope you know where I am going with this..... God uses people who have taken other people's lives throughout the bible and brings them to repentace!!!

From the world's values and standards (post abortive- women) they have done nothing wrong—it’s legal right? But why are so many women experiencing post traumatic stress and post abortion syndrome many years later or shortly after their abortion experience—opps hush-hush we can't talk about that.....SHUT UP (excuse my abruptness--it's just a hot topic for me)!! These women instantaneously know in their gut that a human life of innocence has been slaughtered, and try desperately in failing to remember it (numbing one-self). Society forces them to move about through life again. I call in manslaughter, because if you can just examine graphicly what happens during an abortion procedure; any person in their right frame of mind would claim it as slaughtering another human being. Planned Parenthood has greatly helped this from happening in our culture, schools, hospitals, clinics etc. They have aided these women in feeling: incapable, terrified when pregnant, and has brainwashed them by giving them a false-sense of power over their dilemma. I know, that's an awfully tough term to come to grips with; but there are no other compromising languages in support of it. Please, I am not trying to judge here; I offer you genuinene truth here, cultivate it, and seasoning it with grace. I do recognise that the vast majority of women weren't even aware of what they were exploited to and undertaking, and felt completely trapped and ensnared by it all. It's called the blind-fullness of our fallen world: unawareness, ignorance, and lack of knowledge that doctors withhold from these anxious women. Many are led astray and are guided misleadingly to turn away from the truth, and fall short to see the actual life growing inside of them. They rationalize within their thinking and come to a fraudulent compromise within themselves (usually it isn't a compromise--the baby ends up dying). I am not trying to be unsympathetic here; but I will be honest, loving and devoted as I write this post. You are not on your own in thinking that it's happened only to you; it's happened to 43% of women in their reproductive years of age (just read further on). God, and only God himself, lifts the veil from our eyes to properly distinguish this. Many aren't counselled by society and doctors to stop it; they are counselled in every means to carry on with it. Society holds a sign that speaks 'DEAD END'—they're no other choices in your circumstance and situation. But, women sense the right and wrong of Godly principles in their gut. It's pricking them day by day, manifesting left and right throughout other conditions like post-traumatic stress disorder, eating disorders (vastly) and many other conditions. I call it God's refinement grace (time--bomb) to them. They need to be aware of the truth that they have undergone with abortion. These conditions are His grace to them. Many women keep busy-busy in trying to numb out the pain for years that follow. I have met women who will never talk about it, because the pain is so intensifying; and unfortunately, it catches up though, as the body experiences torments in behaviours that she cannot figure out or grasp herself.

However, God is so merciful in revealing truth to her and has given her the opportunity to be molded into a new creature and to walk in a new, unblemished, fresh, life in Him. This is exciting news for the post abortive women. Can we all extend this grace to her? God so graciously forgave us our debts; so we must not hold anybody else’s debts against them when they plead for mercy at the cross. I believe abortion is erroneously wrong, and I know many of us are able and readily available in falling short of this act. The heart is deceitfully wicked; and we all have a terminally, incurable- ill heart without God. Only by the grace of God is he able to sustain and constrain your mind by thinking this is dreadfully wrong—only God himself! It is nothing of us. The Hilter in us is only constrained by the exquisiteness and loveliness of God—scary, I know, but true. We totally suck. God is the only one who can shape, purify and refine us into His image. He conforms our corrupt minds. Every now and then I wish badly abortion was prohibited, since it would give women out there alternative choices. But, then I think of all the illegal backyard abortions that go on throughout the world —women are dying! I know, I know, many will go as far as saying, “Well she chose her illegal abortion—if she dies, she dies—good—get rid of her right?” My heart aches for the teenager who has been forced by family members, doctors and counselors to get an abortion—you know-- mommy signs the abortion papers to proceed and move forward, when she is crying out too not make this happen. (Where is the justice in that one).

My heart aches for the all the women who were sexually abused. Many women that I have met who have undergone abortion (not all) were sexually molested as children. There is a widespread link between sexual abuse and abortion(s). I have come to know of an organization called Rachael's vineyard. Over there they actually have specific sexual abuse counselors on their panel because as high as 85% of these women have been sexually abused as children or in some other way of form; which then leads to all sort of other problems later on in life. As much as half of them experience sexual abuse in the home by itself: by another trusted family member. Remember sexual abuse chose them, they did not choose it (so bring to a close in thinking that you're somewhat better than them because you had an better life and did not experience such an act as sexual child abuse). If we only knew how many individuals across our western society culture are affected by these torments every day. Again, they did not choose it, it chose them. Ahhh, but the Glory of God will shine abroad across their hearts for God has revealed to them many things about the kingdom of God .... The heavenly King reigns in His people on earth. Yet most people reject His Kingdom..."Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it." ....and un-fortunately, the world hates the citizens of the Kingdom."

We have failed our women as a society by making abortion legal --- doctors, counselors, family, friends, boyfriends, husbands, mothers, and yes even some pastors! Statistics show that 43% of women will undergo at least one therapeutic or more abortion(s) by the time she turns age 45. 1 out of 3 pregnant women choose to terminate a crisis pregnancy; and 1 out of six women belong to the church alone. Sorry, but I don't think stats, such as these, lie too much. There are 50 million abortions worldwide. America’s statistics are 1.5 million abortions yearly-- and what about Canada? Our health care system pays for it. It’s free in Canada! Abortion has become an exhausting debate. More and more we are seeing women and men hurting from the actual consequences of abortion, and I feel so utterly hopeless, because we have become a soundless--silent society with the topic 'abortion'. We won't speak up.

God bless each person who has fallen short of this, and may women and men find the restorative healing they need within the resting arms of our saviour—Jesus Christ. May she come to the recognition of what abortion truly is; and may she come to dignify and honour the baby that was lost through it. I truly believe that this is an essential part of healing for women who come to regret, and come to repentance. God is showing them–divine grace. She is not completely responsible for it because society has made it legal and has come to force many women under certain circumstances that there is no other choice for them. She feels that she isn't strong enough to go against the course of it, so she falls within it.

Stand for truth Nancy

O Father.... let it "not" be a heart of division, but a heart of "unity" between us brothers and sisters in Christ.

As I came back from a Bible Study one night (at my friends church), my heart was profoundly grieved. I was grieved in the sense that I loved my reformed Baptist friends with all my heart. But, I also loved my charismatic, Penticostal, non-denominational friends with all my heart too! I couldn't understand the behavioral extremes between both of them towards each other. I belonged to a non-denominational-- "word of faith movement" church 13 years ago where I first gave my heart to Jesus and was introduced to spiritual gifts and somewhat of a chaos treacherous- teaching in doctrine. I was badly miss-informed when it came to this type of formula years ago, but lots of my deep-rooted friends are Pentecostal now. They switched from the word of faith charsmania movement to the Pentecostal theology (definitely more of a balanced out--and way healthier principle to follow —I love them to bits and peices....were tight as can be.
http://www.intotruth.org/wof/moreno1.html

I learned many truths and many doctrines of error in the word of faih movement; it was very heavy in the prosperity movement, and the name It and claim it movement. Now when I say such things, I am confirming that I do believe strongly in the biblical use of spiritual gifts. There are some, (not all) faith movements that are not completely sound biblically and are operating with some truth and then at the same time--wavering in doctrine altogether. I believe there are Christians today stuck in some teachings such as these. God loves them though, and still takes care of them by His Grace. He leads them and continually pours out His knowledge to show His truth over and over again. Again, there are many sincere, lovely Christians that belong to these "word of faith movements." I have friends who attend to them and love the Lord immensely and continue to grow. Those who hunger for righteousness will be filled. I believe I was seeking for this back in that time and still desire to do so.

On the other hand though, there are many Pentecostal, charismatic, non-denominational churches, (faith-based) that are walking in truth and growing in the knowledge of Christ Jesus. They are using their spiritual gifts with biblical sound doctrine. I have friends in this category also. We encourage each other in the faith all the time. We have amazing fellowship time together and form close bonds of friendship. http://www.newfrontiers.xtn.org/

When I ended up in a Baptist church and I learned about the Doctrines of Grace being preached; my charismatic (word of faith) friends literally thought I was "fallen" away and were concerned about my salvation. Wow, what ignorance! Ha- the Lord proved to me that I was not able to save myself, and proved how the fallen humanity of my heart is morally and spiritually unable to follow God or escape condemnation before him. Only by divine intervention in which God must change my unwilling heart and turn it from rebellion to willing obedience. The Sovereignty of God "literally" saved my life, as I sat under the teaching of my Baptist friends. We are very tight, and I also have formed close bonds of friendships with amazing fellowship. I am secure and hid with Christ. In John 6:37 it says, "All that the Father gives me will come to me, and the one who comes to me I will certainly not cast out." I literally clung on to this scripture, as I wanted desperately to grow in the knowledge of our Lord. We love Him, because He first loved us. It was here that I understood the perseverance of my life in Christ and that I was eternally secure and not in danger of losing salvation. Baptists are people of a remarkable history, a resilient spirit, and a responsible commitment. It is here that I learned the foundation of all I do and believe. God's Word clearly declares, All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: that the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works (2 Tim. 3:16-17).

"The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose, He will not, He cannot, give up to His foes; That soul, though all hell should endeavour to shake,He'll never! no, never! no, never forsake!"

By the famous Charles Spurgeon

My charismatic amigo(a) called the other night. I explained to her the tearing of my heart and spirit, I felt towards my Christian brothers and sisters. We started researching together and found some amazing sites. She is my iron-sharpening friend, whom I love dearly. It's really neat to see how we both have grown in the faith after all these years. I ended up in a Baptist church, and she ended up in a Pentecostal church (which are both charismatic with zeal). We are both tight and secure. We are sensitive in one another's teachings. We agree on many things. We are both in faith-based churches. I have found many kindred souls along the way .

What exactly is a Reformed-Charismatic? Do the two words Reformed and Charismatic even go together? Or is it indeed an oxymoron?

I am a sympathetic Calvinist who is understanding. I tend to lean on that side of the continuum ladder. Sometimes I like to consider myself to be of either camp for argument sake, not belief sake. However, I will offer as a disclaimer that I do lean more to the 5 point Calvinist side. But I do believe that there are plentiful of Arminianism's that are as much a true Christian as any other Christians. I know many of my friends who lean towards the Arminianism side and love Jesus Christ with all their heart. In knowing that both extremes exist in today’s culture, the Calvinist needs to develop a compassionate heart. A compromise would be appropriate but honestly it is quite unrealistic as the sides have been split for over four hundred years. The important thing to remember is that both believe that salvation comes through faith in Jesus Christ and him alone. Let us all stop arguing about these secondary issues. I do not wish to downplay the issue but as long as both sides agree on this, everything else, by God's grace alone will fall into place. If you strongly seek after the things of God, He leads you into correctness. He never stops pursuing you, even if we don't have it all figured out; God does-- strive for it! If you're truly seeking to love the Lord with all your heart and with all your mind; then let the gospel be its own advocate in teaching you that salvation comes by God's grace or "unmerited favor" only — not as something merited by the sinner. I have also found numerous of my friends, in time, to actually appreciate, comprehend, and enlightened themselves to the 5 points of Calvinism.

Some of my thoughts include these scriptures. I'll give you eternal life, and you shall never perish. No one can snatch you out of my hand. (John 10:28) The Lamb will be your shepherd; and will lead you to springs of living water. (Revelations 7:17)

I am Reformed. I am still a Baptist in nature and heart. I do not believe in infant baptism, regardless of the literature I read. I believe in full immersion, believer's baptism.

I am a Charismatic in the intent that I am "NOT" a cessationist. I don't agree that a variety of miraculous spiritual gifts have ceased in anyway. Now about spiritual gifts, friends, I do not want to be ignorant. Paul's clear command to the Corinthians says, “eagerly desire spiritual gifts." All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he gives them to each one, just as he determines.

However, I believe in Biblical Charismatic practice. I believe in the present day work of the Holy Spirit in the way it is described and manifested in Scripture. I believe in the active presence of God. The Holy Spirit graciously gives us an overwhelming experience of the majesty and truth of God as revealed in Christ. "I believe His Spirit is at work in and among us. I believe the work of the Holy Spirit is to manifest the active presence of God in the world, and especially in the church." (as quoted by Wayne Grudem). I want the Holy spirit to continually fill me, empower me and strengthen me for His glory.

I want to continually rely on the Holy spirit to show me the mysterious truths of the gospel and fill me with the knowledge of Him. This is why I consider myself Charismatic.

When I meet with either my reformed, rationalist, theological evangelical friends, or my charismatic, pentecostal, non-denominational, evangelical friends .... I keep this scripture passage, humbly, in the back of my mind...1 Corinthians 9:19-23Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God's law but am under Christ's law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel that I may share in its blessings. There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men. "For you are all one in Jesus Christ"."

Let us all stop arguing about these secondary issues and focus on the primary of things--Jesus Christ. He does a better job in leading you into all truth and accuracy. Blessings to you--Nancy!

A great blog.....Adrian Warnock-- check out his site --it's very insightful. He has great resources for the reformed (calvanist)-- charasmatic. It's very rare you see this kind on mix. Check it out).

http://adrianwarnock.com/2005/11/what-is-reformed-charismatic.htm

A Brief Comparative Study of Arminianism and Calvinism
http://www.the-highway.com/compare.html

click on the link to watch--Beautiful Labour-- posted by Desley-lou!!!

This video will bring healing goosebumps.

One World Currency

I know, I know the Michael Jackson coverage was more important than this, but did you catch the Russian President Dmitry Medvedev showing off the new world currency at the G8 this week?

It does not say "In God We Trust" no, it says "Unity In Diversity."
You can read more about it here:

Russia Proposes One World Currency

Why did I stop raising my hands? Something small to reflect on....HER HANDS!!

Wow...where did I go so wrong?!?! Without knowing it, I was moving towards a hyper Calvinist approach in worship (not where I want to be). Although, I recognize the enormity and importance of God's sovereignty in all things he has placed before us. Believe me...I love reformed teaching, but I have a charismatic approach in worship that I was quenching in my spirit for quite...well, relatively some time now. I used to call myself a Calvanist-charismatic—a charismatic with a seatbelt! (a rare breed indeed). What exactly is a Reformed-Charismatic? Do the two words Reformed and Charismatic even go together? Or is it indeed an oxymoron?!I am a sympathetic Calvinist who is understanding, and I tend to lean on that side of the continuum ladder.

Yes indeed... I am a go-getter Calvanist (i strongly believe that God wants to make use of us in His prevalent plan for our lives). The God who is all-sufficient, all-powerful, all-knowing, wishes to draw close, to communicate, to speak to us, to seek our response, and to hear our our prayer—mind captivating!

O.K. it's quite simple-my peculiar dilemma-I thought I was being too charismatic and emotional in raising my hands in church (that's it--my setback...wow...that's not me at all). I need to be expressive to my Daddy when the spirit moves me (yup I said "spirit move me" my fine conservative Calvinist friends). Many times I wanted to lift my hands to my Father-- just like a child asking, "Daddy Daddy take me.. I'm in awe of you." But, I thought I was being artificial and needed to be more reserved and contain myself (....order Nance). Where did this warp thinking come from?

......And this is how my saviour refurbished me and brushed me up around the Hyper-Calvinist edges in worship. For the last little while there has been...I would guess a 80 or more year old frail, little, tiny, petite, short, white-hair women in front of me in church. She's always lifting her hands to the Lord and I am memorised by the beauty I see in this (she also flows river of tears streaming down her face as she worships). Literally, it's breath-taking as I take in her petite- frail- frame lifting holy hands of strength to a Holy Father (O....how the Lord sustains her beautiful radiant uplifting hands), where she finds vast restoration and sweet surrender.(O Father this is absolutely beautiful to observe every Sunday). She's so humble in spirit with such a child-like simple faith. My eyes were enlightened and my spirit rejoiced when I see her hands being raised--THOSE HANDS!!! It's like God caused the blindness of my heart to see where I was gradually heading-- (a minor stumbling block in my worship)--(thanks Father for fixing that).

And....I was jolted--literally in my spirit (healing goose bumps) just to see this woman's simplicity and purity of devotion to her sweet-sweet saviour--Jesus Christ!!

Blessings Nancy :-)

He's still my favourite preacher / just a few short sermon jams to examine the heart motive. Ohh.... it's been way too long my beautiful Paul Washer.

How beautiful are the feet who preach good news.....(man, I love this man). He keeps me on track!!

Paul Washer -FALLEN FALLEN - Sermon Jam from I'll Be Honest on Vimeo.

Radical Christian - Paul Washer - Sermon Jam from I'll Be Honest on Vimeo.

Jesus Christ is Everything - Paul Washer from I'll Be Honest on Vimeo.

Get your kleenex out for a good cry. Powerful testimony.

Should we pity an unrepentant mass muderer? Or should we morn the death of innocents? Extreme caution when viewing.

NOT SUITABLE FOR ALL VIEWERS. THIS VIDEO WILL LEAVE YOU WITH AN AILING FEELING OF NUMBNESS AFTERWARDS. BUT, THE HARD CORE TRUTH ABOUT ABORTION MUST BE PROCLAIMED IN ORDER TO STOP IT. nancy

"And such were some of you"

I think my answer to both of those questions is a resounding yes.We should pity men with the blood of innocents on their hands; pity their blindness, not only to the preciousness of human life, but to the unsurpassed glory of their Maker. We were all once enemies of God (Romans 5:9-11), alienated, as Paul says, hostile in mind (Colossians 1:21), dead in our trespasses in sin (Ephesians 2:1), slaves to our sin, beholden to the desires of our flesh (Galatians 5:16-24). We were deadened to the power, the grace, the beauty of the King of Kings until he -because of his mercy and goodness -made us alive in Christ (Romans 6:11). Whatever goodness we possess, whatever discernment, whatever mercy, whatever grace is because of the ransom paid by his son, not because of anything good in us.

Also, we should mourn the tragic death of their victims, and know that the Lord will exact justice in his due time. Rejoice that our Lord will win this battle, and that he will use us to accomplish his will as we humble ourselves before him, and cry out to him to heal our hurting land.

In addition, we need to pray for abortion doctors, for pro-choice advocates, should not, in any way take our focus off of the billions of lives that have been taken by abortionists across this country. It should not cause us to falter in our belief that murderers should be tried and punished as murderers, whether they are abortion doctors or vigilantes. It should not keep us from crying out for biblical justice.

1 Cor 6:9-11Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

One of my personal much-loved verses—because it speaks about my history, prior to knowing the Lord. O Father thank-you for saving this wretched outlawed sinner. Paul, Moses, King David-etc.--and many saints of old were once murderers also; that we now look up too for biblical insight.

Stand for truth ...Nancy

http://www.22weeksthemovie.com/

I'm proud of the house we built by Beth Cain. Love you Beth more than words can even express....Thank you so much for your amazing talent girl. xo

"turn your speakers up De Santis family, Kilborn family and friends"

This ones for you my Desley-lou. I think we can relate both to the proverbs 32 in this one- ha ha

1.....http://joniruhs.wordpress.com/2006/12/13/the-proverbs-32-woman/


2......http://www.cbn.com/spirituallife/devotions/dyer_proverbs31.aspx


3.....http://notfinishedyet.wordpress.com/2009/06/01/why-i-am-not-a-proverbs-31-woman/

To my church family

To my church Family;
Dear Family,

I just wanted to express my innermost gratitude for all you have done for my family and me. As many of you know I have experienced a bout and a season of pain (excruciating.... rotating arthritic soreness throughout the body). My symptoms seem to be milder this passing week and for that I am ever grateful that God has granted me this (especially in raising my children and doing daily tasks). Pain is a great leveller; an eloquent reminder of our frail humanity. Paul the apostle had a thorn in his side that he prayed three times to have removed, but God didn't see fit to remove it. But Paul received something even better—a revelation of God's grace and strength in his weakness. Without his "thorn in the flesh", whatever it was, he'd never have known God's strength as he did. When you think about it, that's pretty redemptive.

The Lord will strengthen him on his sick bed of illness;
You will sustain him on his sickbed.
I said, "Lord, be merciful to me;
Heal my soul." Psalm 41:3-4

God's healing has more to do with learning to worship than it does with getting life fixed. What God is eager to heal are the sicknesses of the soul and the blind fullness of the heart that takes sways us down a painful road away from his love. Worship is the means by which are eyes are opened. In worshipping God we realise we were never created to be whole without God. God will not restore what we were never intedened to have (finding satisfaction outside of Him). What we were created to enjoy is fellowship with God, who alone is whole, complete and absolute. I've come to realise that God is not so much interested in my happiness as he is in my holiness. My joy is made full in Him and my cup runneth over- for my soul finds vast pleasure in Him alone.

God had to work on my pride... and believe me I had many areas of pride in my life. It was hard to ask for help from my church family—I felt weak and very ashamed. But, I have learnt through this all that God is interested in using us (the body) to bring restoration and healing to one another. Every meal that was cooked for us (my heart rejoiced all the more in God). I drew closer and closer to Him as to how beautifully stunning the body of God is. See church family you became His body for me when I could not stand alone --(praying for Philip in the hospital, visiting me and letting me cry on your shoulder). You became my hands for me when I could not take care of my children because of the pain-- (taking my children in your home); you became Jesus' feet for me-- (when you blessed me with a meal). You became my eyes for me-- (when you wrote and mailed cards of encouragement and concern). You became my ears for me --(when you called me on the phone and left sweet messages on my answering machine.

You- church family became my Jesus in the flesh through this season of pain. I want you to know how much I appreciate everyone of you dearly. I hold each of you dear to my heart as I am overwhelmed by the love and care shown by you through this difficult time. Even in the most painful of times, LOVE has triumphed.

Psalm 119:71—it is good for me that I was afflicted, that I may learn your statues.

With deepest love for you all,

Nancy Kilborn

Update:

P.S. My sed rates were high normal when they last took blood. This means that inflammation was starting to spread throughout the body. But, my second blood test revealed something different (2.5 weeks later)--my sed rates dropped within normal limits (#10) and my ANA test was negative. Praise God!!! I knew that because I felt a lot different this week--and I can tolerate with this milder inflammation and move about again. I am on the mendful road of recovery. Yeh!!

A must read for all. Exceptionally well written-- as it was incredibly convicting and awe-inspiring. Wrtten by Desley Mendosa

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Tiller "The Killer" Murdered

I'm assuming everyone knows about the murder of Abortionist George Tiller, also known as Tiller the Killer. If not, you can read about it here.As an avid pro-lifer, I am heartbroken. I am heartbroken because I am...and listen carefully...Pro-LIFE. Yes, that means for the lives of even terrible sinners. And why am I for the lives of terrible sinners...like...uhum....murderers? Because Jesus was for sinners... like...uhum....murderers. Or did we forget that even the apostle Paul was a murderer?What urks me is this attitude we have developed where we think God grades on a curve. But guess what. He doesn't. I too find myself locked in this mindset too often. It's so easy to slip into without even realizing it. It's our sinful nature. But Romans 3:23 says, "we have all sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Even better, "There is none righteous. No, not one."( Romans 3:10). And even more scary is this: "For the wages of sin is death..."(Romans 6:23)

Ever sinned? You, along with Tiller and me, deserve to die. But glory to God! Jesus has died in our place! Now if we trust in Jesus for our salvation, we will be saved because even though the wages of sin (that's all kinds of sin) is death, "the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." (Romans 6:23 cont.)
This is the Gospel...the Good News!!

Yes, Tiller killed unborn babies in a ruthless fashion. He had seared his conscience with a hot iron. But that's exactly where we'd all be if we had not been restrained by the sheer grace of God. Do you think any of us are better than Tiller? I beg to differ. We are all capable of the same crimes as Tiller. We can all be deceived by our evil hearts. We should just be grateful to God that He has been so gracious as to give us enough light to know that murdering babies is wrong, because not everybody knows that. It's much easier to lie to ourselves than we like to think, so it would be a good thing for us to not be so self-righteous. Whatever we have -including sight- has been given to us. "What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as if you had not received it?" (1 Corinthians 4:7)Here's the horribly sad truth. Tiller is dead. Chances are, he didn't have time to repent. He's most likely not in heaven and will not have a change to be again. Whoever killed him took that chance away. We should have all been praying for his salvation, for God to unveil his eyes and see the error of his ways, instead of plotting his murder. Satan comes to kill and destroy, not Jesus. Jesus came so that we might have life and have it abundantly.(John 10:10)Remember Luke 9:51-16? The Samaritans rejected Jesus. James and John asked, "Do you want us to call fire down from heaven and destroy them?" And Jesus did what? He rebuked them. Why? Because Jesus is a friend of sinners. They don't get a whole lot more sinful than Tiller. My guess would be, if Jesus were among us in this age, we'd be shocked to find the abortion doctors dining with Jesus because He would accept them. Yes...abortionists, Planned Parenthood employees, porn stars, homosexuals, atheists, murderers, prostitutes, pedophiles, sex offenders, and the whole works. Jesus has the power and is willing to wash the crud off of all of us, including abortionists.If God wanted Tiller dead, He had the power to kill him, but He has already revealed to us that "The Lord is not slow about his promise, as some people understand slowness, but is being patient with you. He does not want anyone to perish, but wants everyone to repent." (2 Peter 3:9)
If you disagree, let me ask you this:

What does Isaiah 59:14 say the real problem is in this world where we think wrong is right and dark is light, and there is no justice? It says, "Justice is turned back, And righteousness stands far away; For truth has stumbled in the street, And uprightness cannot enter." Did you read that? TRUTH HAS STUMBLED IN THE STREET.

Our problem is not Tiller. It isn't even abortion. It is that the truth has fallen and has wreaked havoc in our world. It has been the cause of a chaotic traffic jam, and the only way to get things in order again is to pick up the truth and get things moving again.

What we need to be doing is speaking the truth in love and sharing the gospel with the lost. Or what do we think is accomplished by killing abortion doctors? I'll tell you. Absolutely nothing for the kingdom of God. Tiller is dead and most likely wasn't saved. Another doctor will take Tiller's place. Babies will still die. Jesus looks like a condemning judge to unbelievers, and abortion doctors and women who've had abortions think Jesus hates them. Christians look hateful, hypocritical and self-righteous, and lo and behold, pro-lifers once again get slapped with the label "psycho".

I am mourning over Tiller's death. I am praying for his family. The only one that wanted Tiller dead is Satan. That way his fate would be sealed, and Jesus' name drug through the mud again. This is not a time for rejoicing.

Posted by Desley at Thursday, June 04, 2009 5 comments

The babes

To my friends who have adopted a lifestyle of homosexuality;

click here to view my post= Homosexuality counterfeit

Mark Driscoll goes after the men at his church who have attended for years and yet still abuse, neglect, and dishonor the woman in their life.

The Birth Control Pill and Informed Consent (Short Documentary) "Causing Abortions"

I took an exception to watch this one, and I would encourage you to do the same.

My Beautiful Baby Boy--Philip Norman Kilborn. Thank you Father for this Most Precious Gift!

and I uploaded many more pics- and who knows what happened to them all-lol

Why do we live in a culture where happiness is the greatest good?

Just asked individuals who live in the western culture what they desire, and you will hear—"HAPPINESS". Look through the senior pictures in a high school book and the frequent ambition is—" I want to be happy". Given such an ambition then, it is not unexpected that we have a hesitant relationship with hardship.

Folks who have experienced war have learned to accept the trial and sufferings of life. Amongst many wise, elder citizens in American and Canadian society think there is no frantic escape from suffering. Instead, there is gratitude that is a part of life that can have a number of benefits. Yet among those in the post-World War ll generation, a portion of happiness is the goal, and suffering must be avoided at all costs. If there are hardships in a relationship-- end it. If there is unpleasant emotion—medicate it. It is a generation that perceives no importance to any hardship. Like a pampered child who by no means experienced the regular storms of life, we are short of the skill of growing through our trials. I'm not signifying that we should chase hardships, when the sting can be lightened—it is usually a good thing to do. But, the point is that we live in a culture that idolizes happiness and if we idolize happiness, it will always-- and most definitely elude us.

An additional attribute of modern culture that has linked with depression is our mission for new and exciting... "Entertain me" is the idea. If we are not amused, we have the dreadful silent to fill. As Pasqual wisely said, "I often said that the sole cause of man's unhappiness is that he does not know how to stay quietly in his room".

Boredom hangs over the younger generations. Perhaps, it is because they have packed together sex, drugs, and money into a shorter phase of time and found them unsettling. With nothing new to keep amused, they are dreading the decades as they approach. With no purpose, their goal is to bear and continue living a boring reality that will probably be less prosperous than their parents.

The antidote for boredom is JOY. It comes when our hopes are fixed on something eternally wonderful and beautiful. Augustine precisely defined the ultimate object of joy as God. "True happiness is to rejoice in the truth, for to rejoice in the truth is to rejoice in you, O God, who are the truth...Those who think that there is another kind of happiness look for joy elsewhere, but theirs is not joy." According to Augustine, true joy is the delight in the supreme beauty, goodness, and truth that are the attributes of God—which traces may be found in the good and beautiful things of this world.

C.S. Lewis gave considerable amounts and thought to experience of joy. He found it in the small and good things—such as apples, fresh air, seasons and music. "Reading the hand of God in our little pleasures", he spoke of.

Joy is a natural response when we behold God. What does it have to do with boredom? Joyful people are mobilized and they delight in doing small obedience's. They are pleased to serve God in an ordinary way he sees fit— and I laugh when I say such things. I find joy in changing my baby's pooh diaper as my husband still looks at me with peculiar eyes. But, on the other hand there is delightful-bliss in serving the ones in need and the helpless of babes and children. I appreciated it a lot when I worked in the nursing home, as I learnt a great deal by tending and serving the aged population. They taught me so much about humility that I really believed that they earned the emblem of credit and honour throughout their lifespan—dignity, reverence, and wisdom. Even though, many were immobilized—why were most at reconciliation with God throughout their suffering? I learnt that my sightless eyes were blind and their eyes were open to actually living and resting in the hands of the Almighty. They truly delighted in the smallest of tasks. I envied that peace, stillness, and tranquility in them; as they accepted God's sovereign control over their lives.

And unfortunately, the culture with the most peace, money, and leisure is also the most malignant sadness of cultures. What is truly happening to are younger generation and us? What are we teaching them? Why have we become so money-orientated? Our house has to be perfect—best carpets—perfect rooms—perfect floors—good area--lots of space—obsessed with cleanliness and order--heaven forbid if we put more than two children to stay in the same bedroom (not that there's anything wrong with having order; but we have become an obsessed perfect-oriented culture and have set idols before us). Why have we lost so much reverence in the smallest of things and smallest pleasures of life? Why have we let these possessions elude us and steal are joy? Is it because that we have forgotten that the fuzzy feeling of happiness and glee will evaporate and tarnish throughout our days on this diminishing earth (especially storing up treasures on this earth). We don't find "true contentment" in perfect world order! O Father, I pray that my frame of mind will be fixated on the things of God and that I would find joy in serving God even in the smallest of things. But, are they truly small. Who can put a price and calculate joy found in God magnificence and splendour-- even the smallest of design.

I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the Land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord
Psalm 27:13-14


O Father may you take me out of myself and turn my attention onto you.....

Nancy :-)

click to view my post = leap over the fence

And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. 1 corintians 6:11

A must watch for every women. Don't let this watch pass you by! It is a short, but influential video.

Makes you evaluate the heart motive. Outstanding watch!

It is good for me that I was afficted, that I may learn your statutes.

From 1660-1672, John Bunyan, the English Baptist preacher and author of Pilgrim's Progress, was in the Bedford jail. He could have been released if he agreed not to preach. He did not know which was worse, the pain of the conditions or the torment of freely choosing it in view of what it cost his wife and four children. His daughter, Mary, was blind. She was only ten when he was put in jail in 1660.


"the parting with my wife and poor children hath often been to me in this place as the pulling of the Flesh from my bones...not only because I am somewhat too fond of these great Mercies, but also because I...often brought to my mind the many hardships, miseries, and wants that my poor family was like to meet with should I BE TAKEN FROM THEM, ESCPECIALLY MY POOR BLIND CHILD, WHO LAY NEARER MY HEART THAN ALL I HAD BESIDES: Oh the thoughts of the hardship I thought my Blind one might go under, would break my heart to pieces. (Grace Abounding to the chief of sinner's, 123)"

But this broken Bunyan was seeing treasures in the Word of God because of this suffering that he would probably not have seen any other way. He was discovering the meaning of psalm 119:71, "It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I may learn your statutes.

"I never had in all my life so great an inlet into the Word of God as now (in prison). The scriptures that I saw nothing in before are made in this place to shine upon me. Jesus Christ also was never more real and apparent than now. Here I have seen him and felt him indeed... I have seen (such things) here that I am persuaded I shall never while in this world be able to express... Being very tender of me, (God) has not suffered me to be molested, but would with one scripture and another strengthen me against all; insomuch that I have often said, were it lawful I could pray for greater trouble for the greater comfort`s sake. (Grace abounding, 123)

In other words one of God's gifts to us in suffering is that we are granted to see and experience depths of his Word that a life of ease would never yield.

Martin Luther has discovered the same "method" of seeing God in his Word. He said there are three rules for understanding Scripture: praying, meditating, and suffering. The trials, he says, are supremely valuable: "They teach you not only to know and understand but also to experience how right, how true, how sweet, how lovely, how mighty, how comforting God`s word is : It is wisdom supreme. " Therefore the devil himself becomes the unwitting teacher of God's word: The devil will afflict you (and) will make a real doctor of you, and will teach you by his temptations to seek and to love God's word. For I myself...owe my papists many thanks to beating, pressing, and frightening me through the devil's raging that they have turned me into a fairly good theologian, driving me to a goal I should never have reached. (What Luther says, vol.3)

I testify from my small experience that this is true. Disappointments, loss, sickness, and fear send me deeper then ever into God`s word. Clouds of trifling are blown away, and the glory of unseen things shines in the hearts eye. `Let Bunyan and Luther encourage us to lean on God`s word in times of affliction as never before. I know that there are seasons when we cannot think or read, the pain is so great. But, God grants spaces of some relief between these terrible times. Turn your gaze on the Word and prove the truth of psalm 119:71—it is good for me that I was afflicted, that I may learn your statues.....John Piper

when it hurts/I'm venting. Caution!

O.K.
I just had to write this one down। I'm really venting in this—so here it goes. Caution! It's been pondering on my heart for relatively some time now. I'm not into feeling pity for myself in anyway (at least I hope not...well maybe a tiny-lol), but what do you do with the feelings of when a brother or sister in Christ has wounded you. You do not want to fall into the root of resentment—but you must acknowledge your feelings of hurt. It has happened to all of us and anyone who has denied that it has never happened to them—needs to adjust their pride fullness thermometer down a notch. A haughty spirit is not good medicine for the soul; we all have fallen short of this and have cared what others have said from time to time. We have all shed a few tears or have gotten that ailing feeling over some harmful words that have been spoken over us. I am being brutally honest here. How should we react when a fellow man has been very hurtful in their words or actions to us?

I have had fine Christian fellow individuals promise me that they would stand alongside me, let's do coffee, let's create together, let's have supper's—only to see them off with the next fellow man months later—and totally pay no heed to me in the following months (disregard my existence). Now, I know as a rule people would probably spur out of their mouths, "who cares-bla bla bla—where's your confidence in God girl—hold your head up high".

But it has nothing to do with confidence: doesn't God's word say --" be true to your words—let your yes be yes and your no be no." Christians shouldn't choose like that. I call it selective fellow man service—especially making un-fulfilled promises to one and then demonstrating others that same kind of service. We are called to love each and everyone and be rich in mercy and humility to the creation of "all" God's fellow man; and especially to be true to our promises and word of honour! God takes that very seriously. I have come to the realization that were so hooked on grace in our churches that we have forgotten truth and that truth is kicked out along the hay side countless of times. Do we continue to sin in our actions and words so that grace may abound? "(Its o.k. God will forgive me; I'll just let it go). "

What happens when you have tried desperately in love to resolve whatever situation or quarrel that has come to you—and your fellow man refuses to meet with you or to make things right? Am I revealing some sort of idol or pride in me because I want to make things right and I am still injured in my spirit over the condition? I here so many times—"we are all sinners"—"people make mistakes"—"just let it go"... well then make it right before God! Why run away from it? Truth and grace are powerful resources that must be cultivated in the hearts of Christians today... "TRUTH" and grace! I must admit though that I can't stomach-"a haughty spirit". I have met too many of those and personally steer away from them at all costs. For the most part, I think it's best to give your fellow man your next available cheek to slap and be least in a circumstance. You know-- just say you're wrong when you know that injustice has been cultivated against you or your family. I kind of like resting in God and running to him in situations like these. I feel like I have earned a reward by God himself when I have resisted evil in combating back. My character seems to strengthen in Christ and I realize that He gives me the control and vigour to tolerate it and just let it slither off of me. It makes me seek my father more and then I see how microscopic my problem is compared to how my Jesus was brutally treated by his own people. Even his own kind—abandoned him.

I cannot compare my diminutive problems to the depths and brutality of how Christ was mocked and scorned. And here I am complaining about petty issues. But, nonetheless, God cares also about justice and fairness and has given us a "time to speak" and a "time to keep quiet". I have learnt this more profoundly-to accomplish this in the last year or so. My husband has been a beautiful aid in helping me to leave things alone in God's sovereignty and control. He can't stand when a fellow man has said something spiteful to me and then I simply try to answer back or defend? He always says, "see you gave them your power and valuable energy. They are not interested in making things right, so let it go in the Lord's hands—it's a waste of valuable time; even if it was against you. It's only profitable when both parties want to make things right with humility seasoning it."

This is where he sees idleness and pride fullness springing up in me. What am I trying to prove when I do this? Ooops my pride just got pricked a bit and I was hurt—boo hoo! Yes, of course it hurts-- but what is it accomplishing when the other person has no desire to look at their own negative behaviour. Can I change the situation with my words? Are we really that blind to our own sin and pride? I have to admit—I always try to attempt, see and evaluate if I have wronged or offended in anyway, and always offer words of encouragement and love. I have seen my husband get more and more trained throughout the years when it comes to this. He always says grieve for a bit and then move on. Recognize the hurt and pain (set it before God and lay it down)—don't deny it and then move on and be content in Christ. I must add: he's right. God I love this man. He seems to have his priorities in check. Over the years, I have heard so much unconstructiveness about him ( how much hours he works, what he lacks in, what he should've done, who he has offended, etc)—and it literally has caused turmoil in my marriage. I gave it power and influence to do so. I have come to learn that you don't let any parasite come in and pollute the sacredness of marriage because you want to prove that you can have a good-close relationship with everyone and hear crappolla about your other half. Wrong! Wrong! Boundaries!

Anyone who says slight negative comments about my hubby—I choose to steer away from now and I choose not to defend for him. I'm not trying to be impolite when I do this; I think I am being wise in Christ not to combat. I just give it over to God and my husband. There is so much reward in doing this. It keeps my bitterness in check and knocks the pride fullness to a halt in me. As my hubby says, "you won't accomplish nothing from some people, because the root of self-righteous is so deep within them that they are blind to their own sin; you just make sure you arn't blind to yours." God must disclose and reveal it to them—ahh that's where prayer is such a saving aid for both parties. I have learnt the long haul in this one. I have seen many wonderful attributes of Godly character in my husband that some people have botched and failed to see. Don't let leeches crawl into your marriage and protect it at all costs. It never ceases to amaze me that many times we see the speck in somebody else's eye but can't seem to see the plank in our own. Man, now I understand why my hubby has chosen to steer away from some people in his life. I personally—don't blame him now. I used to be on him about this and thought it was kind of impolite—and it caused more chaos in my marriage, until I saw the negative fruits that piled on him throughout the years from some folks. I thought it just seemed so unfair to him. He just chose to keep humble and quiet and rest in God. He finds no profit in quarrelling. Ohh, I love that self-control in him. What a blessed man! Ì saw so much potential and talent and good ripen fruit in him that the Lord accomplished-- a good, strong faithful husband and dedicated man to his family; no matter what the cost--what the Lord desired chief and foremost. I have learnt that anyone who talks disgracefully about my husband has lost that admiration from his wife also. I will support him at all costs! Don't take it personally-- just needed to let it out and vent. We all do from time to time. So I tend to journal when I feel it coming on. Ha—have a blessed day!

Nancy

Darlings

Scrupulosity

Scrupulosity is obsessive concern with one's personal sins, including "sinful" acts or thoughts usually considered minor or trivial within their religious tradition. The term is derived from the Latin scrupulus, a sharp stone, implying a stabbing pain on the conscience.
In modern times, scrupulosity is often considered to be a religious expression of obsessive-compulsive disorder, or the unrelated obsessive-compulsive personality disorder. The scrupulous person lacks a balanced religious outlook, veering to the extreme. Often the person has a morbid feeling that they are rejected by God and doomed to damnation despite rigid adherence to rituals or rules of conduct. The over-scrupulous person may refuse to acknowledge the verdict of otherwise accepted religious authorities that he or she is being excessively concerned with moot religious points.

In Catholicism, scrupulosity in itself is not considered to be sinful; some well-known saints, including St. Augustine, Ignatius Loyola, and Alphonsus Liguori struggled with scrupulosity. Some Catholic scholars have speculated that Martin Luther, whose ideas and writings helped give rise to the Protestant Reformation, suffered from scrupulosity and broke with the Catholic Church because he could not accept Catholic assurances of grace in the face of his feelings of sinfulness.

Protestants are likely to disagree that scrupulosity was the basis for Luther's actions, but some agree that he suffered from scrupulosity. Some Protestants also find traces of scrupulosity in the writings of the 17th century Puritan pastor and author John Bunyan.

In overcoming scrupulosity, medical treatment for OCD may be used alongside religious counseling, wherein a member of the clergy will counsel the subject to focus on positive, objective messages of religious faith rather than subjective feelings of sinfulness and objection; he or she may also advise the person to avoid typical scrupulous behaviors, which can include repeating past confessions or constant bathing.


Luther & 'scrupulosity'
The doctrine of Sola Scriptura had its source in Luther's own emotional problems."Luther suffered from 'scrupulosity'. Luther probably never had a moment of peace because of this, and so then sought refuge in Sola Fide." The author continues with "But since the avoidance of sin as well as the performance of good words are necessary components to our salvation, and since these factors were steadfastly taught and defended by the Catholic Church, Luther found himself diametrically opposed to the teaching authority of the Church... Luther made a drastic decision - one which 'solved' his scrupulosity problems: he rejected the teaching authority of the Church... and claimed that such was contrary to the Bible. By claiming Sola Scriptura to be true Christian doctrine, Luther dismissed that authority which compelled him to recognize that his own spirituality was dysfunctional."

Scrupulosity can fill people with such false guilt that many are unlikely to admit to it, while others have no idea that they have an unhealthy sense of guilt and so suppose there is nothing wrong with them. Consequently, scrupulosity remains such a hidden disease that researchers have been unable to determine how common it is. One study of Catholic high school students found that a staggering 25% seemed to have scrupulosity. Perhaps there was something in their religious teaching that contributed to this astounding figure.

Famous Christians often thought to have suffered from scrupulosity include Martin Luther, who spear-headed the Protestant Reformation, and John Bunyan, author of one of the most influential of all Christian books, Pilgrims Progress. If so, it highlights how Christians can not only survive but spiritually thrive despite this affliction. The Almighty can turn this horror on its head, even bringing incalculable good out of a most distressing illness. This most certainly does not mean, however, that the God of love who went to the extreme of the cross wants anyone to suffer the torment of feeling unforgivable.

It is well known that in his early days as a monk, Luther was overwhelmed by feelings of utter depravity and terror of judgment. It is claimed that, despite desperately wanting to please God, he was assaulted by anger and hatred towards God, urges to curse God and, during prayer, obsessing about the devil’s rear end. It is frequently told how he threw an inkpot at a vision of the devil, but less well publicized is that he also threw an inkpot at a vision of Christ. I can only speculate, but perhaps Luther’s violent reaction was because the vision of Christ was sexual or in some other way grossly insulting to Christ. The great reformer often suffered such depression that he wished he had never been born.


Scrupulosity—Or Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder?
No matter what you call it, it's no day in the park for believers.
Written by Katelyn Beaty

The word scrupulosity and its derivatives don’t show up much in today's language. But the mental state it describes—an obsession with one’s sins and ridding them at all costs—has caused the suffering of many a Christian both past and present. It’s derived from the 14th century Latin word scrupulus, meaning a “sharp stone or pebble,” used figuratively by Cicero to describe that which causes unease or anxiety. Think of it as a jagged pebble lodged firmly in the recesses of the mind, causing Martin Luther, for example, to go through confession marathons with annoyed priests to make sure he hadn’t left one sin unconfessed.

An article on today’s ABC News “Mind & Mood” website, a mental-health forum, shares the story of one modern-day sufferer. Cole M.’s scrupulosity (what psychiatrists have labeled a “religious form of obsessive-compulsive disorder") manifested as a fixation on counting the number of letters in his sentences to make sure they were multipliers of the number 7 (God, holiness) and not 6 (Satan, sin). He would also go through daily bowing rituals before icons before heading to school, and experienced panic attacks when his fellow classmates used profanity.

Even during conversations, Cole silently counted, multiplied and added letters in words to make a sum of seven. For instance, take the sentence: The cat is gray. In less than a second Cole has an answer: "Cat plus gray equals seven letters. 'The' and 'is’ equals five," said Cole. "So, in order to get the [second] seven, I'd make the cross of the 't' count and the dot of the 'i' count. . . . Nobody would be able to tell that I'm doing this," Cole said. . . .

Such activities, though seemingly minute, become debilitating due to the excessive amount of mental energy they require. For the believer, an obsession with moral purity can stifle fruitful relationships with other Christians, and perhaps ironically, with the Lord himself. Instead of leading a believer to a deeper trust in God’s mercy on account of their sins—a trust that is meant to bring “peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ”—scrupulosity focuses the person back on the efforts of him or herself, which usually leads to excessive guilt and despair.
One answer for those who suffer comes from Ian Osborn, a Penn State psychiatrist who has just released Can Christianity Cure Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder?: A Psychiatrist Explores the Role of Faith in Treatment (Brazos Press). Though Osborn makes clear that in most cases, no amount of praying and confession will "cure" someone of OCD (or scrupulosity, whichever you prefer), specifically Christian teaching has significantly reduced the symptoms of OCD in the lives of his patients. Osborn argues his case by examining the lives of three Christian giants who were noted for their scrupulosity: Luther, John Bunyan, and Saint Therese of Lisieux. He traces each’s journey from obsession with sins to eventual freedom in a reclamation of justification by faith alone—or in psychiatric terms, “responsibility modification therapy.” Through the Holy Spirit’s illumination of Scripture, Luther, Bunyan, and Therese came to the realization that they could “transfer responsibility” from themselves to Jesus for being clean before the Lord. Whether this is effective psychology or just really good theology, there is hope for Christians who are trapped in this life-squelching obsession.

An interesting read. Thank God for authors like Randy Alcorn in exposing truth about contraceptives.

http://www.epm.org/books/does_the_birth_control_pill_cause_abortionsDetail.php

click on the above link to view the booklet or download it.

the babes

FINDING BALANCE...........EATING CHOAS................AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Do you struggle from eating chaos at certain seasons in your life? Those of you who know me very well no that I have struggled in this area, especially when I was pregnant with my second last baby Jacob. I bounced from one end of the continuum to the other; finally ending up in the Endos category (eating disorders not otherwise specified). Some people start in this category only to move on to more dangerous behaviors. Others never reach the behavioral extremes but live in a never-ending nightmare of the in-between, obsessed with weight, and preoccupied with looking a certain way. I started out really healthy and then I noticed where I was gradually heading.

Eating disorders often evolve over time. They very often start with a person going on a diet, or trying to eat healthier foods, or starting to exercise. This seemingly- innocent beginning becomes more intense and occupies more and more of their thoughts and time. People are way too obsessed by body image!! I love how Beth Moore summed it up...NEGLECT...RESPECT...OBSESSION!

It's good to be in the "respectable side" of the continuum ladder. But, know that it's not the end of the world if you have dipped into either side. Personally, I would rather be heavier than lose my period and find that I consequently wrecked my body into starving itself. But none the less, a desirable and healthy weight is where we should aim to be—not to be fixated at it; but just enjoying foods and God-given exercising routines. I love to walk with my children—esspecially during camping season as we take the bike buggies out! Ahhhh, I just breathe in the air and rest upon God's goodness to me--as we pick those saskatoon berries and mouth quenching rasberries--YUM!! I love to hear the crickets echoing out and proclaiming God's glory...how rejuvenating and God-exalting!!

Believe it or not, I love how a size 12 fits on my body. I still have curves and I don't look un-healthy. I am big boned and have muscle tone and yes-- a bit busty-LOL. Well maybe a size 10 is ideal—LOL. O.k.-size doesn't matter—just your God given size is important. Start taking your body in account even if it naturally wants to fall on the curvy side or is on the bigger side of the scale. Only the American and Canadian culture is obsessed by thinness. Research yourself how artists drew women a long time ago—(curvy). Challenge yourself to see how beautiful curves can really be. My hubby loves my curves-- and this is only meant for him to pleasure and delight in--lol.

I will not let myself get sucked into our culture of..."thin is only in". And yes, some people's bodies are naturally on the thinner side and absolutely beautiful-- just the way they were meant to be! I agree that we must have a respect for ourselves and aim to be healthy, but sometimes we can even become obsessed in aiming to be healthy. The mind latches on to every calorie, fat gram, how much cream we put in our coffee and etc. Ask yourself this question...Is that healthy thinking--too count your food forever? DITCH THE DOLL...BE YOUR OWN BEAUTIFUL! Start appreciating your body and who you are and then your body will naturally fall within the range it wants to be at; whether you're naturally slimmer or have some curves ya!

I thank my God for showing me His truth, unfathomable knowledge and showing me the ditch that I was headed towards. And yes, I still do struggle from time to time (my body isn't ideal --but it's ideal in God's precious sight). I have come to submit my battle to the Lord—he isn't finished yet and will show me in due time what is needed to glorify God in all things—including eating!! I needed to stop wasting valuable time and focus on a higher calling and vision for my life-- "Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in (me) will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ". To someone who knew the taste of defeat all too well, the thrill of victory is truly something to be savored and shared with others.

I have a heartfelt, deep concern for us women who have struggled in this area. Do you need a place to find balance? Visit this site... it's a safe haven. Don't be ashamed any longer and start speaking out against this twisted frailty that many women thought was ..."aiming to be healthy." What is healthy body image anyways? Challenge yourself to find out what this really is...James 1;2-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Our current situation is nothing compared to God’s glory. Trials and tests cultivate us and are for our good. It produces such a plentiful harvest of lavishing fruit. Taste and see that the Lord is good!

What is ENDOS!!!! (Eating Disorders Not Otherwise Specified). http://www.findingbalance.com/videoplayer/video.asp?clip=FBA1454

Life inside the thin cage is such a good book to read also. I read it about two years ago and it changed my whole perspective on eating issues and body image.

Well I'm off to go make some eggs for the babes
Blessings...Nancy

Restoring the forgotten truth

1 Thes. 1:4-5
For we know, brothers loved by God, that he has chosen you, because our gospel came to you not only in word, but also in power and in the Holy Spirit and with full conviction. You know what kind of men we proved to be among you for your sake.

An excellent read of leaving your joy behind.

I Left My Joy Behind

Written by PATTI GARDNER

In early 1993, I heard the Gospel for the first time, and I responded with joy, receiving Christ as my Savior. My life was wonderful. I had a wonderful hard-working husband, two sweet children, a beautiful home, and the joy of the Lord bubbling up from within. I was a happy, stay-at-home mom, supremely content and totally in love with life.My heart was in my home. I loved keeping a home for my husband, making nice meals for him, washing and ironing his clothes. I loved playing with and reading to my children, taking long walks with them, singing songs, baking in my kitchen, and a myriad of other home-centered things. But, things changed. The message I kept hearing--in the church, in Christian books, and, of course, from Christian friends--was that I needed to be more involved in church ministries. I needed to have a “ministry.” I fell prey to this philosophy and jumped on board to get involved.

I began attending the ladies’ Bible studies (sometimes two at a time, resulting in 20+ pages of homework a week), teaching Sunday School, overseeing the four-year-old nursery, joining the prayer chain, the nursing home visitation committee, the secret sisters, and several other “ministries” at the church. Although I had been very happy serving my family, I was taught that it was really not “ministry”, that “real” ministry had to be outside the home. It wasn’t considered “God’s work” if it didn’t involve church programs and activities. I packed my children into their car seats and headed off to the Bible studies or this or that committee meeting. I left my joy at home—and it would remain there for nearly 12 years!

As I grew more involved in church activities, I had less and less time for my precious family. What had once been a source of joy for me, I now looked at as an intrusion on my “work for God.”

I didn’t have time to clean my house anymore. The dust piled up, and, as a result, allergies, and eventually asthma kicked in for me (and my children as well). This led to chronic bronchitis, even pneumonia, and many months of antibiotics.

I didn’t have time to cook healthy meals. We ate mostly junky, packaged stuff or fast food. I didn’t have time to do the laundry, unless, of course, my husband mentioned he needed socks or underwear. Angrily, I would get a load done. I rarely folded it, and he learned to get what he needed out of the dryer each morning. (I am weeping as I write this, because it is very painful to relive these years).

I no longer read or played much with my children. I simply didn’t have the time, and being brutally honest, I would have said that I had “more important things” to do. It was not only church activities that kept me busy and out of the house. I was heavily involved in social outings, lessons of different kinds for my children, and home school activities.My health began to deteriorate. During the past twelve years, I suffered from migraines, digestive issues, constipation, skin rashes, joint pains, muscle pains, autoimmune issues, visual disturbances, secondary infertility, allergies, dizzy spells, sinus problems, fatigue, insomnia, weight gain, weight loss, and horrible depression. I know now that my body was SCREAMING at me to come back home. My joy was totally gone. I was a shell of the person I had once been. I could not understand what was wrong. Why was I so wretchedly unhappy? Why wasn’t I fulfilled? Why did I feel as though I had lost something I could not get back?

Finally, a little over a year ago, the Lord spoke to my heart through many passages in the Bible. One was Proverbs 7:11 which talks about the adulterous woman and her feet never staying at home. Another passage was Proverbs 19:3 where it says that a person ruins his life through his own folly and then is angry at the Lord. Another was Psalm 77 where David laments the good old days when his nights were filled with joyful songs.

As I pondered my “good old days when my nights were filled with joyful songs”, the Lord brought me to Titus 2:3-5. At that point, I saw CLEARLY why I had lost my joy (and my health). I had ceased doing what God had put on my heart to do.

I was looking for fulfillment in church ministry, when he had given me a ministry right in my own home. I had a husband to minister to, encourage, and love. I had children to train and disciple for the Lord. I had been neglecting this in order to do what I thought was “more important.”Now, my heart has come home, and I am supremely joyful again. I am content with loving my husband and my children and being a keeper of the home. My health is better than it has been in years.

It is a ministry to serve your family. The Lord does not intend for you to do dozens of church ministries. His will is that you love your husband, your children and homemaking. (Titus 2:3-5 NIV).The older women weren’t told to train the younger women (not to attend all the Bible studies or do all the church activities), but to “love their husbands and children and be busy at home.” (Titus 2:3-5).

Actually, you do not even have to go out of your house for Bible study. I am currently working through Nancy Campbell’s The Power of Motherhood . It is excellent, eye-opening, and I highly recommend it. Waiting for me after I finish it is The Family Meal Table and Hospitality.

I believe that many women today are joyless, stressed, discouraged, sick, and exhausted because they are seeking to do that which God has not called them to do. Their spirits and their bodies are crying out to slow down their frantic pace and to put their whole heart into serving their families. Sadly, like me, they have been deceived into thinking that it is not ministry.Motherhood is a ministry. There is nothing more important you could be doing.

PATTI GARDNERNampa, Idaho, USA

You will Suffer

Philippians 3:8-11 Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.

leap over the fence

watch this video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2CaBR3z85c&eurl=http://www.catholicvote.com/static/flash/cv_yt_player.swf

Obama supports abortion rights ANYTIME through the pregnancy, right up until the baby is delivered (in that instance if the baby is "unwanted" it is left to die outside of its mother). No, he's not for stopping abortion right up to six months; he's for the killing of children even after they're outside their mothers' womb. Scary, I know, but true. I am not posting this video with the intentions to cause an ache or sting of any mother or father who has remorsefully regretted their past abortion. For all the mothers and fathers who have fallen short of this—rise up for the authenticity of truth; it's o.k. to leap over the fence and be in support of the pro-life movement. Again, not out of workings or penance, but for your over-flowing knowledge of truth and aching-love for God. It will help aid in your healing and help you to bring an end of being a hostage inside yourself. The more you stifle your wounds and fail to remember it, the further deadened you will become in dealing with your bricks of denial. There is healing after abortion! Wouldn't your baby have wanted you to come to know the reality of abortion and to stand up for him or her? And yes, I know it's a hard-hitting reality to come to grips with—but you will experience ceaseless joy in standing in the gap of genuine truth then otherwise being on the opposite of the continuum ladder--the false gap of denial and being a prisoner and bondage to the grip of sin. You have a right to be heard and your voice should never be silenced. Your powerful testimony and influence will be used for the saving of many lives, and I promise that God will give you the grace to endure and stand resilient against the judgment of very-very few pro-lifers. Countless of pro-lifers are women and men who have been injured by past abortions and miscarriages. They are trying desperately to stop any person from going through this horrible end result. Please won't you give support in giving them that right to be heard and to further lend a hand to women in choosing life for their future family? Please listen to this healing webcast below and then the silent no more on you tube:"stand for truth"....Nancy
http://instantteleseminar.com/?eventid=5502450

http://www.youtube.com/silentnomorecampaign

Homosexuality counterfeit

To my friends who have adopted a lifestyle of homosexuality;

I pray that I will stand in the gap as an example of a Christian offering hope—hope to the homosexual community. I do validate your pain as I have friends out there that our living a homosexual pattern of living. I want you to know how much I love you and please know that Jesus is ready to walk beside you with embracing arms to restore health to the many hurts that you've experienced through this duration of life. Know, that I am sincerely apologetic if we (Christian community) have showed a lack of attention to your predicament and dismissed you as insignificant; and for any unbalanced messages spoken from the pulpit that might of drove you further in your shield of miss-trust for Christians. God has such a unique and powerful plan for your life—please come and experience the true, active living God through the testimony of God's astonishing grace in your life. I hope to be a true ambassador of Christ as I write this message in my blog today. May you begin to experience the first steps to freedom that is available to you in a deep, abiding relationship with Jesus. May the Christian community (including myself) feel convicted and sorrowful on how they have disparaged the homosexual in not addressing these issues as critically important in the church setting. May we both together experience the forgiveness, grace, truth and saving -knowledge -power that resides in us—-Jesus Christ!!

What do you mean I can change! Yes, because you're deep rooted issue of homosexuality is just the final outcome manifestation.

Many people that I've come across who are Christian's experience a great heartache when faced with what feels like a choice between pleasing the Lord and accepting others who have dabbled in or otherwise our experiencing a homosexual relationship. God directs every individual to protect, encourage, and educate ourselves about things that are right, wrong, just, fair, healthy and sinful.

So let me ask you the question that has pondered on so many throbbing hearts of Christians. How do I love the individual unconditionally who has adopted a lifestyle of homosexuality and still stay true to my moral convictions? How do I help the individual that has the desire to leave this lifestyle of choice?

I truly believe if we take the time to educate people within our congregations regarding truth as it pertains to this issue—we will begin to focus on two important elements: TRUTH and GRACE. We need to be careful to focus on the balance of truth and grace, as this will accomplish two important things—your congregation will know that your stance is unwavering regarding sin, and they will find hope in Christ for those affected by homosexuality. I believe another important step is to encourage teachers, leadership, pastoral clergy etc.—to lead discussions or lessons regarding the issue of homosexuality so the church understands that your leaders share your commitment. You will also want to become familiar with or connect with a trust-worthy ex-gay ministry and get to know its leaders so that your approval of them is rooted in trust. Place their contact information in the church bulletin newsletter. Those involved in Exodus International have a strong calling to educate the church regarding this matter.

I believe areas of homosexuality are hard-hitting callings for the church to prevail over all alone. But nonetheless, with Christ and church involvement—"all things are possible." Rest assured, though, you can move towards this situation in a way that will breed open discussion and the opportunity for further conversation among individuals who truly care to see people set fee from all areas of sinful performance. So sadly, there are so many homosexuals/lesbians that have sought church homes in compromising denominations that are all too willing to ignore and distort God's intention for sexuality in an effort to appear more accepting and inviting.

Unfortunately, from a worldly stand view the double standards that exists within the mental health profession is ludicrous as well. Many worldly therapists who should be the most committed to helping their patients pursue mental, social, and emotional health—choose political correctness over the ethics of their profession. More therapists should be willing to explore the truth with their clients.

A large quantity of research points to the increase of pathology involved in homosexuality. That itself should motivate treatment and that healing should address the deep rooted causes for contributing factors that ultimately led to the person's adoptions of a homosexual problem.

I believe you are being true to your line of work when you address head-on your client's un-healthy coping mechanism. When people actually see and start believing that their attractions are not based in genetics but rather on the development, environment, and familial circumstance of their lives, they actually realize that living homosexually is not their only alternative.

While you try to aid the one who struggles with this issue, you will rarely if ever deal directly with the issue of homosexuality. Planned confrontation of deeper issues will of course reveal truths that will not go unnoticed. As you come to the very core of the sting of the underlying issue of that individual; you will start to see them talking about issues of isolation, being left-out, self-esteem, sexual abuse, fear, insecurity etc. And yes—the counterfeit nature of homosexuality will without doubt override emotional sexual desires if he/she is honestly seeking a true desire to grow to be healthy.

But what about the person who cannot understand why you don't except the lifestyle of homosexuality. What about the strong gay-activists who insists that your ethical convictions are being judgemental.

I suggest that you be devoted to how Jesus loved and committed himself to any of one of us sinners. Jesus spent a lot of time fellowshipping with sinners to reveal to them the gift and hope of salvation. Jesus was ridiculed and detested many of times by the religious leaders for spending large amounts of times with the ones that were gone astray. Jesus came to heal the sick and give sight to the blind. Didn't he? Explain to the individual who is dealing with homosexuality that your moral convictions are based on principle, not judgement on them as people. Help them understand the true definition of tolerance—"sympathy for beliefs or practices differing from conflict with one's own"—and ask them to extend that to you as well. Family and friends may judge your conduct as unloving, but they have to accept a morally relative belief system with no absolutes. If you adhere to society's definition of tolerance, you would end up tolerating everything and ultimately stand for nothing. As representatives of Christ and His truth, we must be willing to sometimes appear intolerant if we hope to remain principled.

And lastly, remember society has silenced any message of hope on the subject of change from homosexuality, and the church hasn't stepped boldly to the plate either. So individuals who struggle with same sex attractions have been left to fend for themselves—when the pain of denial, hiding or repression become so heated that the pan begins to sizzle- the lid begins to blow right off, men and women "come out" and express this newfound freedom like never before.

Homosexuals no doubt have found a gay community that understands them (which they do) accepts them (which they do) and doesn't judge them (which they don't). This is where the church has to come in full force to proclaim truth and grace. Both beautifully coupled together will cultivate an upcoming transformation in that individual. There heartstrings of God's convictions and truth of light will have the ultimate power to resist the flow of any sinful desires. But the Christian knows more than knowing truth; they put their knowledge into action and proclaim balances of biblical truth. They take steps upon the truth they proclaim and commit to using their gifts to assist men and women in overcoming homosexuality, just as they are to use their gifts to help anyone else with life-dominating sins. Their actions exemplify the fullness and love of God's word. May you be richly blessed if anyone of you reading this post has become entangled in this struggle. God bless you abundantly on your quest for truth!

"stand for truth"...... Nancy